


The last Of The Real Ones

by I_Love_My_GF



Category: Splatoon
Genre: F/F, Original Character(s), because there is never enough of these lesbians, yet another take on the gays' first meeting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-02 01:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17878361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Love_My_GF/pseuds/I_Love_My_GF
Summary: Inklings are the race of dummies. They wouldn't recognize an octoling even If they would be standing right in front of their face. They wouldn't recognize an octoling even if they hung out in their own house. They wouldn't recognize an octoling even if they would fall in love with one.





	1. Chapter 1

It was 1 am when Pearl finally get off the last Grizzco shift for today. Well, unless you are one of those people, who say “Well, it’s technically tomorrow now” as soon as clock hits 12. Then she had another one coming today. Not that she would complain, it gives her fair amount of money, daily. As long as she doesn’t question obvious safety validations, she doesn’t need any other job. Those who do question it… Well, let’s just trust Grizz when he says that they found themself a nicer job out of town.

She doesn’t mind working late. She loves it, in fact. Coming home under the stars feels peaceful, and she doesn’t need to force herself through crowded Inkopolis square. Despite ungodly hour there are still many Inklings in sight. This city never sleeps, and fortunately, the city never commits crimes too. The only crimes she witnessed was some idiot inklings disagreeing with the splatfest results and continuing to claim loser superior. That, and probably whatever Grizzco is doing.

The stars became brighter when she turned into one of the alleys, leaving forever bright Inkopolis square. She lived nearby, but 20 minute walk after 10 hours of physical work seemed like walking from here to the moon. Slowly dragging one feet after the other accompanied by music flowing from her bluetooth speaker. 

“Invest in some headphones idiot!” She heard after a while from behind her.

“Invest in some good taste!” She screamed back and turned the volume up. Honestly, when will people learn to appreciate her work… She bobbed her head and whispered the lyrics to herself. Her songs were like… music to... her ears. Which is literally the case, but nevertheless, it was a very good music, okay? She hit 1k views on YouTuna yesterday. 

She reached her house and looked for her keys. When she rustled through her pockets, and found nothing, she let out annoyed sigh, turned off the music and took off her backpack using her phone as the flashlight. One day she will invest in eye activated lock. Or fingerprint door handle. Or voice recognition lock. If those doesn’t exist, she will found that research. 

When she finally had the keys in her hand, she heard it. Suspicious rustle from around the corner. Pearl tensed instantly. She wasn’t scared. Of course not. She never is. That’s why, when she said “H-hello?” she sounded as confident as ever. Quiet kind of confident.

And rustle happened again. 

“WHO’S THERE, I HAVE A GUN!” Pearl screamed, one hundred percent non-nervously. She slowly approached the corner with flashlight still on. When she did, she saw someone, who was doing very bad job hiding behind her trash can. At least she was very, very hopeful that it was “someone” and not “something”. Please, god, don’t let it be a wild animal with teeth as large as Pearl herself, and temper shorter than her. “I-I see you! Show yourself!” She aimed the flashlight directly at the odd shape, and wondered which of her iconic song line to use as her last words.

The shape risen up, and fortunately it was just an inkling with her hands in the air. “Please don't shoot! I am sorry!” The inkling cried out. At least Pearl thought that she said that, she spoke that very unclearly. Whatever the stranger said, Pearl released a sigh of relief. She probably won’t die tonight. 

“Shoot you? Why would I-?... Oh, because of the gun thing? Yeah, I don’t really have a gun.” Pearl admitted. Her heartbeat came back to normal. Not that she was scared a second ago! She was just excited! From yelling. “So uh… What are you doing behind my trash, exactly?”

She might have calmed down but the stranger visibly didn’t. Even from the weak light of flashlight, Pearl could see her shaking, and... were those tears in her eyes? “I’m sorry, sorry, please, don't harm me” she muttered again, so weakly that Pearl thought that she could collapse at any second.

“Hey, uh… It’s fine. Can you come out of there? My phone battery is draining like crazy.” Pearl said as calm as she could. She really didn’t want to deal with some random Inkling crying and maybe fainting in her trash. 

Stranger carefully approached Pearl, who turned away to sit on the bench in front of her house, and patted the sit beside her, inviting other to sit. As she did, Pearl managed to finally have a good look at the intruder. 

Compared to Pearl, everyone is tall and dark, but she could really mean it about her. 

Pearl couldn't put a finger on it, but something was off about her looks. Her tentacles, especially. There were unlike any other hairstyle she's seen in Inkopolis. Not the green and brown colors, and neither the length reaching her waist, it was something else. And something about her face was also different from all the faces she's seen. But she just couldn't figure out what was it. Maybe she's from the other town? That would explain the almost illegible accent. And maybe tore and wore down clothes were trendy there. 

“So… If you are looking for some dirt on me in the trash, you don't have to try so hard, I embarrass myself in public all the time!” Pearl snickered, but noticed that the other’s girl anxious face didn't budge. “Tough crowd… “ She muttered to herself. 

When the girl still didn't answer she tried another guess. 

“Were you dumpster diving for some broken tech? I heard some Inklings fix that stuff for profit, and that's fine! I actually have plenty of broken shit in my home, I can give you loads of tech for really small amount.” Still nothing, just visible confusion. “Or for free?”. 

“I was looking for food” She muttered so quietly, it was almost inaudible. 

Well that didn't make any sense. Why would she look for food in the dumpster? Money is very easy to come by in Inkopolis. You could literally go play turf war, lose every match and you can easily buy loads of food. And because of how easy sponsors make it to earn money doing this sport, there is a lot of open positions on retail work for those less able or plain too lazy to run around. And that brings one simple question to Pearl's mind. 

“Why?” 

“I'm hungry” Her eyes are avoiding Pearl like plague. It almost looks like she's shrinking under Pearl's glare. In few minutes, alien girl is going to be the smaller one. 

“Well, all the pubs and grocery stores are closed, that's true… Tell you what, you can just come over and eat dinner at my place, how about it?” Said Pearl before she even realized what escaped her mouth. She doesn't regret proposing it, but it's just weird to host diner for stranger you just met. “Uh, or if you want, I can give you some tickets for Crusty Bucket, it's the food truck on the Inkopolis Square, it's very greasy but has calories to get an Inkling through the day no problem, hah. “

“You mean it?” 

“Well yeah, it's not exactly a dietetic food, that stuff looks and smells nasty! But it still tastes pretty good and - oh, you mean the dinner thing, sure, let's go.” Pearl said after seeing her puzzled expression, and stood up, keys in her head. 

She didn't hear steps beside her though. She looked back and saw the girl still sitting on the bench. Following Pearl with her sight. 

“You coming or not? I thought you were hungry.” Pearl said annoyed. She was tired from work and just wanted to eat something and go to bed, without having to think of hungry Inkling roaming around the streets at night. 

Girl said something brief that Pearl didn't catch, but followed her. 

“Look, you don't have to be scared ok?” Pearl said rolling her eyes, and entered home. 

Oh yeah, she forgot it was a total mess. Maybe hanging out in the dumpster isn't such a bad alternative to this place after all. 

She doesn't exactly has a lot of friends to come over, and she doesn't care much about details like clothes being in the clothes’ designated space or empty plastic wrappings in empty plastic wrapping designated places. 

“Sorry for the mess, haha.” Pearl said to her guest. She grabbed all the stuff from the couch and dumped them on the floor beside it. “There.” She said satisfied with her work, and moved along to the fridge. “So I got some pizza i can put into microwave, is that fine? Sorry I don’t have anything fancy.” 

The other girl was so quiet that Pearl had to turn her head to see if she’s still here. Yep, there she is. Still at the doorstep. “You can sit on the couch. You know, the one I emptied for you?” Pearl pointed at the very couch. Her eyes will soon roll out of her skull. 

Pearl closed microwave doors and turned back to see her guest sitting uptight. She looked like she’s waiting for execution, not for pizza. “So… I never got your name? I’m Pearl.” She reached her hand to the stranger, which was meet with gentle squeeze in return.

“Marina” She answered, smiling for the first time. There was something about the smile that made Pearl feel something pure for a moment. The feeling disappeared as soon as it appeared.

“I’m guessing you’re not a local, huh? Are you from the Tentassee?”

“No.”

“Jellywood?”

“No.”

“Even further?! Squidney? ...No? Well, just spill it already!” Pearl was interrupted by the ‘Ding!’ coming from the microwave. “Nevermind.” She said and grabbed some plates. 

“Do you want some juice with that?” She asked when she handed the plate over to Marina, who instantly grabbed a slice and stuffed it in her mouth. Pearl didn’t need an answer anyway, who wouldn’t like juice right now. She sure would.

When she got back to the couch with two glasses, Marina’s pizza was gone already. That was, like, 20 seconds. 

“Thank you very much.” Said Marina with her cute, thick accent, and gorgeous smile. Pearl was stunned by all of these three things separately.

“Hey, Marina, You know what? I’m not hungry actually.” Pearl lied. “You can have mine half of pizza too.” 

“I’m good, but thank you” Marina answered, also lying. He reached her arm to take orange juice out of shocked Pearl’s hands. “And thank you for the juice.”

“Sure thing... So, Marina. Are you going to tell anything about yourself at all?” Pearl prompted her with mouthful of pizza.

“Okay. I’m not from here. I’m new to this town. I’m still trying to figure things out. You Inklings are very friendly. It’s hard to be new. My Inkling is not very good, but I’m happy here.” That was the longest string of words Pearl heard from Marina. And it was a lot to take on in one go. 

‘You inklings?’ she said? Maybe she meant Inklings of this town in pecurial. She clearly struggles with her Inkling. Wait... how? Isn’t she an Inkling? Shouldn’t Inklings speak… Inkling? 

“Hey, Marina. You’re an inkling, right?” Pearl threw her a suspicious glare.

“Oh.” Marina looked tensed again “Yes, I am an Inkling. That is a race that I am. Like you, an inkling. And everyone in Inkopolis” She smiled nervously. 

“Oh, It’s fine then! For a moment I was confused, sorry, I didn’t want to offend you.” Said Pearl. “Of course you’re an Inkling what else could you be? It’s really late and I was working a lot today, so I am excused for saying stupid things.” She said collecting empty plates and glasses, and put them on the kitchen counter.

“That said” She continued, “I’m gonna collapse if I don’t go to bed right now. I guess you’re not in a mood for a walk home. So you can take the couch, I hope the neighbours won’t think too much tomorrow morning, haha! Here’s the blanket, bye.” She said after realising how embarrassing that was. God, she’s a mess. She will deal with apology for inappropriate joke tomorrow morning.

***  
On the other side of the street, an Inkling woke up his boyfriend shaking him rapidly.

“Scally, you’re not gonna believe this!” He whispered loudly.

“What?... Go to bed loser.”

“No, listen, I just saw an octoling! Just hanging out on that bench in front of our window!”

“Have you finally gone crazy? Octolings aren’t real. You’re having delusions from lack of sleep. Come on, you can even be a small spoon this time.” 

“Hold on... I know that seeing Octoling here is highly unlikely, but you know that they exist, right? They are actual species. Inklings had war with them 100 years ago. Does that ring a bell?”

“Isn’t Great Turf War just a silly story to explain the Turf Wars? You know, like humans and electricity?”

“HUMANS ARE REAL TOO, THEY’RE JUST EXTINCT! How many times do I have to tell you this?! Have you never taken history lesson in your life?”

“Nah dawg. I was sleeping soundly, just like a second ago. And a second from now. Goodnight.”

“But I’m telling you! I saw an octoling, there is no mistaking this!”

“Did I stutter? Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't played octo expansion yet so a lot of thing can be non-canon here lol. Oh, and It's also my first piece of fanfiction, and first publicated writing in general. I may or may not continue this If it gets positive reception (so if you want more, just let me know down below. I am not bluffing.) I am also not native speaker, so feel free to point out weird sentences. What else... I'm gay folks.


	2. Chapter 2

‘9:30? Man, I’m killing this whole waking up early thing!’ Pearl thought to herself. ‘I hope I won’t wake Marina up, she deserves a good sleep.’

Pearl got down the stairs to see Marina sitting upright on Pearl’s couch as if she hasn’t move an inch through the entire night. However, the state of the living room suggested otherwise, because for the first time in many months, Pearl could see how her floor looks like.

“Oh, hello Pearl! I am sorry if I’m overstepping my boundaries, but I thought that I would show my gratitude somehow, and clean up the place a little,” Marina said, as if she was reciting this sentence from memory, carefully pronuanciating every word and nodding to herself with every other one. “Thank you, again, so much, for letting me stay, ” Marina sent Pearl the warmest smile she has ever seen.

“Wow… I could swear my tiles were black and not white… And I didn’t think I own a carpet.“ All her dirty clothes were neatly folded in one place, plastic wrappers were gone, and the floor was not only visible, but perfectly clean. Pearl was in awe of her guest’s hard work, but also a little embarrassed. This is the only reason she was blushing like crazy right now, nothing to do with how proud of herself and confident Marina looked. “Thank you, Marina, but what are you doing up so early? Aren’t you tired?”

“I’m used to waking up at 6 am sharp, “ said Marina, and stood up. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome, so I better be going.”

‘6 am? Is she even an Inkling?’ Thought Pearl, but as soon as the other part of what Marina said hit her, she almost screamed in protest “What?! Don’t you dare leave without breakfast and a shower!”

Marina froze, shocked, but sat back on the couch.

“Wait here,” Pearl said and ran back upstairs. She returned after short while with fresh towel and shirt she got from Grizzco, way too big for her, but seemingly perfect for Marina.

“Here. You can take the shower, it’s upstairs and to the left. I’ll make us some breakfast.”

Marina complied and Pearl made it to kitchen to realise that it’s also spotless. In her defence, if she were expecting guests, she would clean all of it up by herself. She started preparing pancakes. Bag of chips and soda wouldn't do it this time.

After a while she heard Marina ascending from stairs. When Pearl turned her head, she forgot how to breathe.

Turns out the shirt was a little too tight. But unlike the baggy rags from before, the shirt revealed something outstanding. Marina. Was. Ripped. She was straight up jacked. Fucking shredded. 

And her face was just beautiful. Don't get that wrong, it was pretty before, but after Marina freshened up a little, she looked like a model. 

“Is everything alright?” Asked Marina, who was starting to get a little uncomfortable under Pearl’s gaze. God, Pearl felt like a creep. Bluntly checking out her guest, who already was way too uncomfortable. 

‘This is unacceptable, get your shit together,’ Pearl thought to herself, but also ignored that thought and didn’t even blink. “So uh… That shirt is a little too tight.” Yep, good job. that really makes you look less like a predator. Yep.

“It’s fine,” ‘Damn straight it’s fine’ “It’s actually really nice of you to give me something fresh to wear. It’s been a while”. If Pearl was staring at Marina’s face, she might have noticed another beautiful smile. She didn't, because... Boobs.

“I made us pancakes,” Pearl said quietly as Marina was approaching. ‘Snap out of this, you’ve seen women before, idiot. Not a woman like this though…’.

“You’re going to burn that one up.” Marina pointed out, standing way too close to Pearl. How dare she smell so good. This is ridiculous. “May I?” Marina grabbed the pan out of Pearl’s hand after few seconds of no response. She put the last pancake on the stack, and moved the plate on the table. 

“Yeah,” said Pearl, blushing like crazy. “Uh, sorry. I zoned out a little there. So, Marina, where do you live? I was hoping we could keep in touch, you know?” Smooth.

“I don’t really have a place,” Marina said, as if it was totally normal thing.

“What do you mean? Where do you sleep? Shower?” Pearl felt worse with every second. There she was, luring poor homeless woman into her home just so she could stare at her. Disgusting.

“I usually sleep on the beach, and bathe in the sea,” Marina said and grabbed another pancake. Pearl couldn’t force herself to even think about eating. Isn’t Marina scared of the sea? She could drown at any second there. “I’m fine, you know? Inkopolis is really safe, even at night, and I’m trained to withstand seawater up to few hours, “ Marina said after noticing Pearl’s shocked expression. How could she be so calm about all of this? This is terrifying. Pearl couldn’t imagine what that porl girl must be going through.

“Marina… i don’t want to be rude, but why won’t you just go to work?” Pearl finally dared to ask.

Marina didn't answer for a long while. It looked like she was looking for the right words. 

“I don’t like to go out in the public too much,” eventually said Marina, quietly. “This city… I know it’s safe, but it scares me.” The words were now whispers.

“Okay, I understand,” Pear said, but she didn’t really. Scary? That was the last word she could imagine some would use to describe Inkopolis. But who were she to judge.

A few minutes passed, Marina was going through her fourth pancake, and Pearl was dissecting her first one with fork.

Pearl really, really wanted to say something. Something dumb. And maybe she wasn’t eating as much, so that Marina would have to stay a little longer. She wished she had made more pancakes. So that she wouldn’t have to sleep at the beach. 

After finishing her fifth pancake, Marina didn't reach for the sixth. 

“Thank you, Pearl,” said Marina, standing up just like an hour ago. “Pancakes were delicious.” Her smile made Pearl weaker.

‘This is it, you have to say it. You have to ask her to stay, Pearl.’ She thought.

“You’re welcome. It’s the least I could do.” Close, but not quite. Ask her to stay. Do it. “Listen, Marina…”

“Yes?” Marina stopped with her hand already on the door handle.” Ask her. Just ask her.

“Stay safe, okay?” 

No! That’s not what she wanted to say at all! She wanted her to stay. She wanted her to stay safe in Pearl's home.

“I will, see you around,” said Marina and left. Door closed. Pearl’s flat was quiet again.

It’s for the better, really. Marina’s safer on the beach, than with some stupid dumbass, who’s drooling over her like a teenager. But Pearl could never look at her again, if it meant Marina having a roof over her head.

What has she done. She can easily provide for a dozen of people, and she just kicked stranger out on the street?! That’s right. She may be short and ugly but at least she’s loaded. Well, she could be, if she just asked her dad to send her “allowance”. That allowance could buy Santa Maria every day of the month. That meant swallowing her pride, but for Marina, she would even swallow a frog.

Where did that came from? She met that Inkling yesterday, and now she would break her promise to herself over what? Muscles and boobs? No, it was over a homeless girl, who dumpster dives for food and doesn’t have a luxury of taking a shower every morning.

Pearl ran to the door and opened them, but after scanning the street with her looks, she couldn’t find Marina. She sighed and closed the door.

She still had few hours left to work on her songs before heading to work. She dragged herself to her private studio. 

That was weird. No matter how hard she tried, all she wrote sounded mellow and sappy. That wasn’t Pearl’s way of creating music. What is going on with her?

Before she could write anything worthy her name, the time has come for another shift of Salmon Run. Suddenly being adult and independent weren’t as cool as she thought. She has the money. Some people don’t. Why would she refuse it? Why would she try and make her life harder for herself while some people sleep on the beach and eat trash?

She sighed and left the house.

***  
Scally woke up just to see his living room turned into maze of cork boards and red strings. He sighed heavily. It was not the first time either. His boyfriend was very prone to spiralling into full conspiracy theorist mode. 

“Ray... What is this? We talked about this. Conspiracy theories bad, normal hobbies good.”

“This is not a conspiracy, I'm making a research. Scientific method and all that. I have legitimate historical sources.” said Ray, not honoring Scally with so much as a glance. 

“And what conclusion did you reach with that research? That Inkling you saw once at 2am in the night, from 50 meters away is an octoling spy send here to kill us all?”

“Yes!” Yelled Ray, but after seeing his lover's expression he changed his answer. ”I meant no. That would be crazy.”

“Listen Ray, you can't do it again. Not after what happened before. Please go to sleep, and we'll see if everything will looks the same in the morning okay?” 

“Fine, but don't touch the strings. I know I'm right. There was something suspicious about that ‘inkling’,” Ray said that with the air quotes, and went to the bedroom. 

Scally sighed, and analysed his boyfriend's work. The thing is, the longer he stared, the more he got when Ray is coming from. 

‘That adorable goof is really getting to my head,’ he thought, as made himself some coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feminist brain: Cephalopods don’t have breasts, it’s a mammal-exclusive thing.  
> Lesbian brain: Tiddies...


End file.
